I have a way to see the ex’s facebook page, even though I am blocked from his page. I know I need to stop looking, but my curiosity is getting the best of me. I don’t look every day, in fact, over the last year and a 1/2 since he left me, I look less and less. I can only see what he makes public and some things he purposely posts publicly. I guess he hopes that I will see it somehow and I am.
I happened to have looked yesterday and it wasn’t good. He and she were celebrating the fact that the divorce is final and she made a nasty comment about me. Where does she get off doing that? He left me for her!! He seems so angry, which is part of his depression, and probably his guilt, coming out.
I have been really good this entire time and said nothing disparaging publicly AT ALL, on social media. It is not the place to do that, even though lots of people do.
My new years resolution is to stop looking at his page and move on with my new life. I have been seeing someone and we are really happy so far. I need to cleanse myself of the past and concentrate on the here and now.
As soon as the deed to the house is transferred to me, I am sending a letter to him for my closure. I will publish the letter when I send it as well. I have been working on it for 19 months. I am pretty happy with it too. It feels good to get it out of my head.
Has anyone else ever sent a letter?
He Left, Look at ME Now! 
I sent my ex a twelve page letter. I spelled out everything. I also sent all of his friends and co-workers letters. He had kept the truth from everybody and I was going to “let the cat out of the bag.” The truth was out and I told him that if anybody asked about it, he could for once, do the honorable thing and tell the truth or he could do what he had always done…take the cowards’ way out and lie. Those letters really had an impact on him.
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My letter is not anything earth shattering. It’s a factual letter, one page mom, and just let me get my feelings out. I never got a chance when he left. He may laugh at it crumble it up throw it out, but at least I got to say it.
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My letter was very factual as well. He asked me what I thought HE thought when he read it. I told him I figured he got that lovely disgusted, contemptible smirk on his face and then threw it away. I know he has gone back and read it a few times but he told me the last time he read it, he didn’t think he’d read it again. Letters can be powerful. Not everybody (like me) can remember conversations verbatim. Written words are there for as long as somebody keeps them.
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I wish I would have written a letter – I did call the woman he was cheating with and his mother. No regrets.
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I emailed my ex’s sisters to let them know what was happening while he was still in the house. I thought maybe they could help him and guide him in the right direction back to me. That did not work. At least I tried. And at least you tried. Good for you.
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Bravo. You are a very strong person in a situation where, for many, it could takes years to get to where you are now. The letter is an important component. Whether he reads it or not, is not the point. Even Ed and I had to have that cathartic exchange, so we could move on. I am so glad you have chosen to look forward with excitement and plans to have fun. You have my admiration, you classy woman.:)
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Thank You Pam.
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I would love to write a letter to “him”. And write about all the nasty things he’s done to me. But I know that he always laughs them off. Or be sarcastic. So I’m sparing myself all that.
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Great idea. Wether he gets it or not who gives a shit. Its for you anyway.
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